Not so much Ted Lasso - more Dumb and Dumber Jesse

Published: Monday, 10 April 2023

I must be missing something. Jesse Marsch is obviously a much better coach than I’ve given him credit for. And I’ve been a keen supporter of his. 

He deserved great credit for keeping Leeds in the PL last season - and I said as much then. I still believe they’d have gone down if Bielsa had stayed in charge. 

Marsch made many friends at Elland Road. I’m told the players thought he was a really nice guy - but, in the end, they just couldn’t work out what he wanted from them. 

Marsch overcame the language barrier! He talked of ‘football’ not ‘soccer’. Of ‘away games’ not ‘road trips’. So no stick to beat him with there. 

But. I’d love it if someone would explain to me how it is that a man, recently sacked by a club battling for their PL lives, has the temerity to turn down two offers to stay in England and continue to work in the PL? Marsch must really rate himself. 

Ok. Southampton - a great club by the way and a gorgeous area to live and work in - apparently only wanted to employ Marsch until the end of the season. So nothing permanent. Maybe Marsch felt that was too much of a gamble, but if he’s as good as he clearly thinks he is, he’d have kept them up wouldn’t he? 

No sooner had he said ‘no’ - Leicester came along. Leicester - recent FA Cup winners and former PL champions. Another great club, with a training centre second to none. 

We’re told terms were all but agreed on a 3-year deal, but then Marsch watched the defeat by Bournemouth - and after a ‘long consultation’ with his coaches he decided to back away - and I’m quoting from what I’ve read - Marsch didn’t want to work in the C’ship next season. 

What? Again - surely this modern day super coach would’ve kept them up? And if he hadn’t - what’s wrong with working in the C’ship? If Burnley can piss it (no disrespect intended Vinny) then surely Leicester would? Marsch would’ve won more games than he ever has in a season - had fun doing it - and made himself a hero.  It would’ve been a blast. 

Who does he think he is? Maybe he’s had a call from that lunatic Boehly telling him to hold off because he’s in line to replace Lampard? Boehly, we read, is now taking advice from James Corden. Well - it makes sense doesn’t it? Perhaps Fred Karno was engaged when he tried to call him? 

Seriously. What is Marsch waiting for? I don’t see him getting another offer to work in the PL. 

What a game at Anfield. I know Arteta wasn’t celebrating at the end (😂) but I firmly believe it was a good point for his team. 

We’ll maybe never know exactly what happened at half-time when Robertson and assistant Hatzidakis clashed. The pictures aren’t good for the lino, but I hope he escapes censure - just as Bruno Fernandes did on that very same ground. 

I said then that Fernandes should’ve been charged. The FA rightly threw the book at Mitrovic, but a week or two before that incident at OT they let Fernandes off after he laid hands on an assistant. See. These things come back to bite you. 

As Robertson approached Hatzikakis perhaps the assistant was concerned about his safety? He’d have every right to be. What an irony that Liverpool last week paid the FA another £75,000 for failing to control their players during the recent game against City. That was after a combined £60,000 with Everton following the derby. In total PL clubs have been fined £1.3m for ref abuse this season - Arsenal have contributed £185,000. 

It’s got to stop. Robertson had no right to confront the assistant at half-time. I don’t agree with Roy Keane often, but he was right when he said Robertson behaved ‘like a baby’. Mind you - let’s not forget that Keane, Neville and co invented ref abuse. Just ask Andy D’Urso. 

Who knew this? Have a look at the diagram below. 

It’s from the IFAB laws of the game web site and it clearly shows that they’ve changed the interpretation of the handball law again. Why did no-one tell us? Is that why Mitoma’a goal at Spurs was disallowed? 

What a mess David Elleray and his colleagues at IFAB have made of the handball law. 

I wonder if you can guess who said this ‘I absolutely do not understand the law and something must be done in this area’. 

I’ll tell you - Alexander Cerefin - President of UEFA. He was talking to the Slovenian newspaper Ekipa just two weeks ago. He went on to say ‘nothing is clear to anyone any more’. Correct. Sort it out guys. Oh - and let us know what you decide.