What a brilliant cunning plan Celtic.

It’s incalculable how many times a journo like me has referred to Len Shakleton’s brilliant piss-take.

For younger readers lets me explain Shakleton was an England international in the 50’s, described as ‘The Clown Prince of Soccer’. A latter day Gazza if you like.

He was often at odds with the football establishment, including club directors of the England squad, who used to pick the team in those days.

When Shackleton penned his autobiography in 1956 he left a blank page under the heading ‘The Average Director’s Knowledge of Football’.

Time and again he’s been quoted - by me right here. He had a point. Brian Clough wasn’t the only one who agreed with Shackleton. Directors often run businesses very successfully, but completely lose their marbles when it comes to football.

It’s always been like that, so we make allowances for poor judgement and daft decisions. But nowadays we have professionals - full-time CEO’s and directors of football. The idea, of course, is to try avoid such issues, yet still it goes horribly wrong.

The most recent example of utter madness? Celtic. What on earth were they thinking when they stood Martin O’Neill down and replaced him with a cross between Inspector Clouseau and Russell Martin? And did so three games before a cup final?

Here’s my best guess. Somebody clearly thought O’Neill had done enough to settle things down post-Rodgers at Parkhead. Directors weren’t getting stick anymore and O’Neill had brought back a feel-good factor. The team were winning again.

So - tapping into the new mood of optimism, somebody cunningly thought they’d get their new man in to enjoy a win over leaders Hearts - a night out in Europe and then Clouseau could win a cup final. After all, he only had to beat St.Mirren in the final. Fans would love this and Clouseau would be an instant hit.

Wrong. In fact, it went horribly wrong in all three matches. Clouseau is now scrambling around talking absolute bollocks and Celtic are right back where they were after sacking Rodgers. It’s a shambles.

Who is Clouseau anyway? When I heard he’d got the job I messaged a friend in the States and asked about him. I got a one word answer back. I’ll let you work out what it might have been. A clue is - it wasn’t flattering.

Ok, it wasn’t the most exhaustive research, but the answer told me all I needed to know. I’m witnessing what I expected.

What was it the professionals at Celtic were told I wonder? The appointment makes no sense at all. Worse - the timing was horrendous.

Why didn’t they just let O’Neill finish what he’d started? Clearly the players loved him. He must’ve been a breath of fresh air. He spoke a simple language - common sense. Celtic were winning games and O’Neill was on fire in his pre and post-match interviews. It must’ve been fun being a Celtic fan again.

Not anymore. Doubtless the people responsible will escape censure. They always do, but they’ve created a massive problem for themselves.

So what next? Doubtless Clouseau will stumble on for a few more games before O’Neill is brought back out of the emergency cabinet. I’m having a cup of tea with him this week. I’ll find out. Incredible. You weren’t wrong Len.

Andy has often referred to ‘production line’ players down the years. What he means is every young player you see these days is an identikit. He reckons they’re all the same, brought up in academies and coached the same way. It’s not very often you see the sort of individuality that Gazza (I’ll use him as an example again) once entertained us with.

Of course there are the odd exceptions, but he’s got a point. The same goes with a coach these days.

If anyone knows what Clouseau (I’ll use him as an example again) was on about post match on Sunday please get in touch. I was completely baffled. He was trotting out all the nonsense he’s learned on the various coaching courses he’s been on.

I don’t want to be too unkind to Scott Parker, but he’s another one. Listen to him closely and you’ll hear him say everything the manuals preach. He always sounds like a ‘today’ coach and tries to look like one as well.

My advice would be ‘don’t’. Relax Scott. Take a leaf out of O’Neill’s book. Stop talking technical nonsense and have a little more understanding of what you are and where you are.

Standing on the touch-line in a variety of Thom Browne clothing isn’t a good look. It was a really bad idea this weekend to wear a £2000 Browne cardigan, in the pissing rain, whilst your team were getting pumped again - to make it seven straight defeats.

I wonder how many of the Turf Moor faithful own such an item? Parker needs all the help he can get right now and I would’ve thought a little more empathy with the people he’s working for might not be a bad idea. What’s wrong with a track suit Scott?

Top marks again Sunderland. I loved the shit-housery posing for the team pic at the end. Very funny.

I’ll share with you what a lot of my Arabic colleagues are telling me about Salah. The smart money is on a return to the fold post AFCON, and a move in the summer - to America.

What’s happened to Calvert-Lewin? He’s on fire. I’ve always thought there was a player in him, but he’s kept it hidden really well. Perhaps he’s found a home at Leeds?

It’s a pity for Everton he couldn’t have found this form in their jersey. They played really well at Chelsea. Their performance missed only one thing - a centre-forward. They’ve got to find one in January. If they do Europe isn’t out of the question.

How West Ham must be missing the Moyes days - top half finishes and trophies. As we often say - be careful what you wish for.